When I was first given the opportunity to chase this dream of becoming a professional golfer I have to admit a lot of me was scared. I was freaked out when I looked at what kinds of things I needed to do in order for all of this to take place. I needed the money first of all, I needed a game plan, and I needed support. I didn’t really have any of these things before my family and I sat down and evaluated the pros and cons of trying to become a professional golfer. Immediately when I explained to my parents that I wanted to take a break from college to try and go pro in golf, they were right behind me from the get go. I’m very lucky and blessed to have my family tell me “Go do it! We have your back no matter what happens.”
I couldn’t be happier for that, however I felt a sense of pressure that I was putting on myself. I was telling myself okay I got my family’s good graces and I’ve had so many wonderful friends in my life tell me for years that I could make it on tour, and I could make it professionally. Now I need to perform, I can’t let them down. I was afraid to fail! I was afraid that I would eventually not make it and quit. I didn’t want that to happen. But it was so hard at first playing and realizing I’m not playing for me, I’m playing for my family, my friends, everyone who’s told me I can do it, and good luck they are rooting for me. I was representing a community of supporters that I never thought possible. My first couple tournaments I was a mess. I was trying so hard to play well it was hurting me. I struggled for three months, and I contemplated on just hanging it up.
Then I took a couple weeks off. I didn’t even want to think about golf let alone pick up a club. I wanted to enjoy some time off with friends and family. After about the second week of no golf, no tournaments, no practicing, I started to get the itch again. I talked to a lot of people about failing my family, my friends, and everybody who was pulling for me. What I got out of it was if I’m afraid to fail, I’ll never experience winning, I’ll never be successful, with anything that I do. If I was afraid to fail, then I was afraid to succeed.
I realized that I just needed to go play, stop worrying about everything else and who I was playing for. These people will be there for me whether I succeed or fail, but what I also realized was how many people were coming up to me and saying, “I just think it’s amazing that you have the balls to do what your doing. You already succeeded in my book because you have a dream you have a goal and your running with it.” That was already in itself a huge accomplishment. Now all I needed to do was go play the game that I love so much and have so much passion for. It was like a lightbulb went up in my head. I got to get back into it. I got to go play. Taking those weeks off was the best thing that could have happened to me last year, because when I came back I ended up winning two tournaments, and coming in second two times.
So I wanted to take this moment in my blog and thank everyone from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for believing in me and supporting my dream. I will not fail!